Sexual surrogate

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A sexual surrogate may be a Certified Sex Therapist who is a member of a sex therapy team who engages in education and sometimes intimate physical relations or sex with a patient to achieve a therapeutic goal. The practice was formally introduced by Masters and Johnson with their work on Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970. They may also work independently of diagnosis and treatment plans based in traditional medicine, for example providing services to the disabled or to couples whose sexuality is a source of distress.

Most surrogates are women, a few are men[1], and there are married couples that practice surrogacy together. Some surrogates work at counseling centers while others have their own office. Some surrogates offer additional services besides surrogacy such as telephone counseling or sexological bodywork.

Many surrogates have professional certification in the fields of sex education, somatic psychology, sexology, psychology, or counseling. This allows them to work in an interdisciplinary mode including psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists and other therapists in the best interests of the person or relationship. Sex surrogates use a combination of techniques, for example, listening, psychoeducation, practical guidance and hands on demonstration – to help a person or a relationship resolve their own issues with human sexuality.


Typical problems

Patients frequently present with these specific problems:

  1. Trouble with intimacy
  2. Lack of confidence
  3. Communication problems
  4. Dating anxiety
  5. Sexual inhibitions
  6. Erectile dysfunction
  7. Premature ejaculation
  8. Diseases that cause painful intercourse
  9. Love-shyness

There are people who have experienced a change in sexual lifestyle due to an acquired disability (accident, paralysis, disease, trauma), and a surrogate can help them explore and develop sexual potential. The causes of sexual dysfunction are numerous and the methods a surrogate might use to help improve sexual function are varied.


Since many sexual problems are psychological rather than physical, communication plays a key role in the therapeutic process between a patient and the sex surrogate, as well as between the surrogate and the therapist.[citation needed]

Surrogates offer therapeutic exercises to help the patient. These may include relaxation techniques, intimate communication, teaching social skills, and some sexual touching. Sex surrogate and tantra sex educator Mare Simone says that physical intimacy is a rare occurrence between her and her patients, and she will not engage in intercourse with those in committed relationships.[2]


The 1985 documentary Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate explored the relationship between a sex surrogate, her clients, and her clients' therapists.

The National Geographic show Taboos episode "Forbidden Love" featured a professional sex surrogate in one of its segments.[3]

In popular culture

The TV show Boston Legal featured a sex surrogate named Joanna Monroe (played by Jane Lynch) as a recurring character. The show explored her professional relationship with two of the main cast, their sexual problems, and how a surrogate can approach treatment. The show further drew attention to the legal and personal problems that can face those who offer sex surrogacy services.[episode needed]

The movie The Sessions (2012) stars Helen Hunt as Cheryl, a sexual surrogate that helps polio victim Mark (John Hawkes) lose his virginity at the age of 38.


  1. ^ Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; no text was provided for refs named Jerry_de_Haan; see the help page.
  2. ^ Burford, M (September 2009). "Sexual Healer". AOL Health. Retrieved September 2009.
  3. ^ "Taboo: Forbidden Love".

'Reaching intimacy: A male sex surrogate's perspective' Jerry De Haane

Further reading

External links