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Reflective listening is a communication strategy involving two key steps: seeking to understand a speaker's idea, then offering the idea back to the speaker, to confirm the idea has been understood correctly. It attempts to "reconstruct what the client is thinking and feeling and to relay this understanding back to the client". Reflective listening is a more specific strategy than the more general methods of active listening. It arose from Carl Rogers' school of client-centered therapy in counselling theory.
Dalmar Fisher, an Associate Professor at Boston College, developed a model for Reflective Listening that includes the following elements:
- Actively engaging in the conversation, by reducing or eliminating distractions of any kind to allow for paying full attention to the conversation at hand.
- Genuinely empathizing with the speaker’s point of view. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the speaker, just viewing things from his/her perspective. The listener encourages the person to speak freely, by being non judgmental and empathetic.
- Mirroring the mood of the speaker, reflecting the emotional state with words and nonverbal communication. This calls for the listener to quiet his mind and fully focus on the mood of the speaker. The mood will be apparent not just in the words used but in the tone of voice, in the posture and other nonverbal cues given by the speaker.The listener will look for congruence between words and mood.
- Summarizing what the speaker said, using the listener’s own words. This is different than paraphrasing, where words and phrases are moved around and replaced to mirror what the speaker said. The reflective listener recaps the message using his own words.
- Responding to the speaker's specific point, without digressing to other subjects.
- Repeating the procedure for each subject, and switching the roles of speaker and listener, if necessary.
Reflective listening has been found to be effective in a therapeutic setting. Subjects receiving reflective listening from a counselor have reported better therapeutic relationship and more disclosure of feelings.
Cognitive content is one of the two main options that a counselor has for reflecting the client's previous communication in the counseling session. This form deals with people, places, problems, situations, and things. Cognitive content can play a role in help with problem solving. Incorporating cognitive content in problem solving makes it easier for clients to identify and work through issues. If neither the counselor nor the client can identify a problem that the client has, there is no need to problem solve and there is no need for counseling. Similar to problem solving where one initially identifies the quandary, counseling calls for identification of the fundamental issue in order to successfully change the client’s behaviors or thought patterns.
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