List of The Bernie Mac Show episodes

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The following is a list of episodes for the Fox sitcom The Bernie Mac Show. The show ran for five seasons from 2001 to 2006 with 104 episodes produced.

Contents

Series overview

SeasonEpisodesOriginally airedDVD release date
Region 1Region 2
12220012002May 4, 2004May 4, 2004
22220022003TBR/TBATBR/TBA
32220032004TBR/TBATBR/TBA
41620042005TBR/TBATBR/TBA
52220052006TBR/TBATBR/TBA

Season 1: 2001–2002

Series
#
Season
#
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProduction
code
11"Pilot"Ken KwapisLarry WilmoreNovember 14, 2001 (2001-11-14)10011-01-78

Bernie's sister goes into rehab, and rather than let her three children go into foster care, Bernie takes them in. Unfortunately, he quickly loses patience with them.

Note: In 2002, this episode won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series.[1] 
22"Now You Got It"Ken KwapisTeri SchafferNovember 14, 2001 (2001-11-14)08-01-101
The flu is going around, and the kids all have it after Bryana's birthday party. Despite his best efforts to avoid it, Bernie gets it too and has to spend the day with Bryana. 
33"The Main Event"Linda MendozaMarc Abrams & Michael BensonNovember 21, 2001 (2001-11-21)08-01-105
When a bully picks on Jordan at school, Bernie teaches him to box. But then, Jordan goes overboard and changes from a victim to aggressor at his school and Bernie realizes that he's "created a monster". Guest appearance by Sugar Ray Leonard
44"Bernie Mac, Ladies Man"Lee Shallat-ChemelKriss TurnerNovember 28, 2001 (2001-11-28)08-01-107
Bernie isn't comfortable with the title "stay-at-home dad." 
55"Saving Bernie Mac"Stan LathanKriss TurnerDecember 5, 2001 (2001-12-05)08-01-104
Since Bernie can't spank the kids, he figures the church can provide discipline. Guest appearance by Richard Lawson
66"Here to Stay"Sam WeismanSteve TompkinsDecember 12, 2001 (2001-12-12)08-01-106
Bernie finally realizes that the kids aren't just houseguests. He proposes that they earn allowances by doing chores. Later, Bernie would have to punish Jordan for stealing his money just to buy a telescope, which he found at the store earlier. Infuriated at Bernie, Jordan runs away from home, which sends the family on a wild goose chase. 
77"A Christmas Story"John FortenberryMarc Abrams & Michael BensonDecember 19, 2001 (2001-12-19)08-01-108
The kids attempt to hide Buddy the dog from Bernie, but the dog destroys some of the family's stuff and fed-up Bernie takes him somewhere else. The kids find out that Bernie took Buddy away and they seek revenge on him. 
88"Starting School"David GrossmanLarry WilmoreJanuary 2, 2002 (2002-01-02)08-01-103
Bernie enrolls the kids in a good Catholic school. Bernie has trouble preparing them because Jordan fakes an illness, Brianna wants to wear her princess costume, and Vanessa can't do her hair. 
99"Hot Hot Hot"Linda MendozaRobert BruceJanuary 16, 2002 (2002-01-16)08-01-109
The air conditioning breaks down, and the kids are making Bernie nuts. 
1010"Wanda's Week Off"Ken KwapisTeri SchafferJanuary 23, 2002 (2002-01-23)08-01-110
After Wanda spends time with the kids, she starts thinking about having one of her own. 
1111"The King and I"Ken KwapisSteve TompkinsJanuary 30, 2002 (2002-01-30)08-01-113
Bernie discovers that Jordan and Bryana defer to Vanessa instead of to him. 
1212"Hall of Fame"Linda MendozaMarc Abrams & Michael BensonFebruary 6, 2002 (2002-02-06)08-01-114
Jordan joins the football team. 
1313"Handle Your Business"Robert BerlingerWarren HutchersonFebruary 13, 2002 (2002-02-13)08-01-112
Bernie gets in trouble with the family after joking about them on a radio show. 
1414"Back in the Day"Lee Shallat-ChemelJeffrey BushellFebruary 20, 2002 (2002-02-20)08-01-115
Bernie feels old and won't stand for it. 
1515"Lock Down"David GrossmanTeri SchafferMarch 6, 2002 (2002-03-06)08-01-116
After the house is robbed, Bernie becomes overly security-conscious and he makes the kids do things together like a family. 
1616"Mac 101"Lee Shallat-ChemelKriss TurnerMarch 27, 2002 (2002-03-27)08-01-117
Feeling that his kids are below-average, Bernie puts them to constant study. Meanwhile, Bernie teaches Bryana how to speak Spanish after he saw her watching TV, and Jordan is having trouble trying to play "Chopsticks" on the piano. 
1717"If I Were N-Riched Man"Ken WhittinghamWarren HutchersonApril 3, 2002 (2002-04-03)08-01-118
A social worker visits after Bryana uses the word "nigga" at school, having heard Uncle Bernie use it at home. Not long before the end of this episode, Bryana calls one of her friends a "pain in the ass". 
1818"Stop Having Sex"Lee Shallat-ChemelWarren HutchersonApril 17, 2002 (2002-04-17)08-01-105
Bernie is concerned that the kids are exposed to mature subjects. 
1919"Secrets and Lies"Robert BerlingerMarc Abrams, Michael Benson &
Jeffrey Bushell
May 1, 2002 (2002-05-01)08-01-120
Bernie comes home from a week-long road trip and the only thing he wants to do is sleep, but things change when he gets invited to a Clippers/Bulls game and he and Wanda have dinner with another couple. Bernie wants to go see the game, but with Wanda in the way, he has Jordan feign an asthma attack so they could go see the game. 
2020"Kelly's Heroes"Lee Shallat-ChemelSteve TompkinsMay 8, 2002 (2002-05-08)08-01-119
Bernie lets his friend Kelly stay at the house after his girlfriend, Daphne, broke up with him. 
2121"Sweet Home Chicago (Part 1)"Lee Shallat-ChemelWarren Hutcherson & Kriss TurnerMay 15, 2002 (2002-05-15)08-01-120
The kids hope to see their mother when the family heads to Chicago for a funeral. Don Cheadle guest stars as Bernie's Cousin D. 
2222"Sweet Home Chicago (Part 2)"Larry WilmoreSteve Tompkins & Teri Schaffer
Story by: Larry Wilmore
May 15, 2002 (2002-05-15)08-01-121
Bernie shows off his old neighborhood, but all Vanessa wants to see is her mom. 

Season 2: 2002–2003

Series
#
Season
#
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProduction
code
231"Keep It on the Short Grass"Ken KwapisMarc Abrams & Michael BensonSeptember 18, 2002 (2002-09-18)08-02-201
Bernie and Wanda are challenged by Matt Damon and his wife to a game of golf. Guest appearance by Lucy Lawless
242"Goodbye Dolly"Reginald HudlinSteve TompkinsSeptember 25, 2002 (2002-09-25)08-02-202
Bryana starts crying overnight after leaving her doll at the beach. After Bernie goes back to get it, he tells Jordan to get rid of it. Guest appearance by Ice Cube
253"Carfool"Jamie BabbitDavid FlebotteOctober 30, 2002 (2002-10-30)08-02-203
Bernie drives Jordan to school and forces him to befriend a boy he sees. 
264"Mac Local 137"Lee Shallat-ChemelJerry CollinsNovember 6, 2002 (2002-11-06)08-02-205
Bernie's backyard is a mess: Vanessa and her friends were doing gymnastics on his lawn; Bryana wrecked his picket fence with a stick; and Jordan was playing golf by whacking flowers with a club while saying "I am Tiger Woods!". These same kids are expecting Bernie to raise their allowances. Bernie eventually forces the kids to live in a tent and hires 3 men to help around his house. 
275"Welcome to the Jungle"Allison LiddiBobby GaylorNovember 13, 2002 (2002-11-13)08-02-210
Jordan gets a pet for his science project, which makes Bryana want her own pet. 
286"Bernie Mac Dance Party"Michael SpillerKriss TurnerNovember 20, 2002 (2002-11-20)08-02-211
Bernie escorts Vanessa to a dance and publicly embarrasses her; Wanda reads Jordan and Bryana a bedtime story called "The Ant and the Ladybug" and Jordan ruins the ending for Bryana, which makes her cry like crazy. But while watching Jordan and Bryana, a fire breaks out in the kitchen. 
297"Tryptophan-tasy"Kevin BrayJeffrey BushellNovember 27, 2002 (2002-11-27)08-02-209
Happy Thanksgiving from Maison Mac! While Jordan is fooling around annoying his sisters, his Indian costume rips, causing the grill knob to turn to "LO". Bernie eats the turkey and is having three different nightmares. The first nightmare Bernie had was that he and Jordan were claymation foes, next was that a gigantic monster-looking Vanessa was on the wing of the plane because she wanted money from Bernie and he said no, and the last was that Bernie was glad that the kids said hello to them, but the next thing is, the kids turn into robots. His last nightmare contained his death, and W.B. takes Wanda and the kids. 
308"The United Front"Ken WhittinghamTeri SchafferDecember 4, 2002 (2002-12-04)08-02-204
Bernie wishes that Wanda would stop being the "fun auntie" and join his side. 
319"The Sweet Life"Reginald HudlinPaul LiebersteinDecember 11, 2002 (2002-12-11)08-02-208
Bernie's doctor warns him that he has high cholesterol and Wanda tries to get him to change his diet, but he'd rather take advice from Don Rickles
3210"Sin Cup"Ken KwapisWarren HutchersonJanuary 15, 2003 (2003-01-15)08-02-206
Bernie gets mad at Jordan for drawing a picture of a juggling Jesus. Jordan and Bryana then try to protect the family from sin. 
3311"Bernie Mac Rope-a-Dope"Ken KwapisKriss TurnerFebruary 5, 2003 (2003-02-05)08-02-216
Bernie offends Wanda's boss (Wesley Snipes) at dinner. 
3412"Magic Jordan"Gina Prince-BythewoodSteve TompkinsFebruary 12, 2003 (2003-02-12)08-02-213
Jordan wows the girl of his dreams (Alexa Vega) with magic. 
3513"Raging Election"Lee Shallat-ChemelSteve TompkinsFebruary 26, 2003 (2003-02-26)08-02-218
Bernie helps Vanessa win an election, but he is having a difficult time with Jordan's project. Guest appearance by India.Arie
3614"Leaving Los Angeles"Reginald HudlinMarc Abrams & Michael BensonMarch 12, 2003 (2003-03-12)08-02-217
Bryana accidentally sneaks into an R-rated movie and starts having nightmares. 
3715"Pink Gold"Michael SpillerWarren HuthersonMarch 19, 2003 (2003-03-19)08-02-221
Bernie feuds with fellow comic Chris Rock. Meanwhile, Jordan is desperate to catch the Pink eye disease, which is going around, but the fun ends when Wanda tells him that his class is having an "Air Fair" and his whole class is riding in a helicopter. Guest appearance by Jay Leno
3816"Chess Wars"Lee Shallat-ChemelKriss TurnerApril 9, 2003 (2003-04-09)08-02-214
Vanessa wants to wear makeup, Jordan sneaks to a paintball game, and Bryana wants a new doll. 
3917"The Incredible Bulk"Victor Nelli, Jr.Nguyen OrangeApril 16, 2003 (2003-04-16)08-02-215
Bernie overspends his money at a local store named "Cost Depot" (a parody of Costco), but things start to get out of control after Bernie buys too many things which forces Wanda to buy a shed, and that makes the kids and him into gluttons for punishment. 
4018"Maid Man"Lee Shallat-ChemelJeffrey BushellApril 23, 2003 (2003-04-23)08-02-207
Bernie hires a maid named Lydia who cleans up the place until the kids get to her. 
4119"Nut Job"Ken KwapisPaul LiebersteinApril 30, 2003 (2003-04-30)08-02-120
Bernie has the kids doing different activities; Wanda organizes Jordan's campout. 
4220"The Other Sister"Lee Shallat-ChemelDavid FlebotteMay 7, 2003 (2003-05-07)08-02-220
Bernie's sister Benita (Niecy Nash)'s visit turns the household upside-down. 
4321"Meet the Grandparents"Reginald HudlinJerry Collins & Teri SchafferMay 7, 2003 (2003-05-07)08-02-219
Wanda's parents (Steven Williams and Janet Hubert-Whitten) visit the Macs and Wanda forces Bernie and her father to get along with each other. 
4422"For a Few Dollars More"Ken WhittinghamBobby GaylorMay 14, 2003 (2003-05-14)08-02-222
Bernie and another neighbor host their kids' birthday parties on the same day. Everybody has fun until Jordan's balloon launches—with Jordan in it. 

Season 3: 2003–2004

Series
#
Season
#
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProduction
code
451"Eye of the Tiger"Victor Nelli, Jr.Richard AppelNovember 30, 2003 (2003-11-30)08-03-309
Jordan wants to join the basketball team, but his coach suggests that he should take rhymitic classes. Guest appearance by Shaquille O'Neal. The episode's name is a reference to Survivor's song "Eye of the Tiger" which was played many times during the episode. 
462"Love Thy Nephew"Robert BerlingerTeri SchafferDecember 7, 2003 (2003-12-07)08-03-301
Marcus Chapman (Greg Germann), Bernie's new neighbor, demands that Bernie destroy Jordan's new tree house. When Bernie does not agree, Marcus begins attacking the house with the flowers from his zen garden
473"Road to Tradition"Ken WhittinghamJerry CollinsDecember 14, 2003 (2003-12-14)08-03-313
Bernie wants the family to have a traditional Christmas, Wanda seeks Christmas gifts for her workers. 
484"Laughing Matters"Lee Shallat-ChemelMarc Abrams & Michael BensonDecember 21, 2003 (2003-12-21)08-03-303
Bernie gets a lead role in a dramatic movie, Bryana and Jordan are dropped off at a daycare while Wanda goes to work, Vanessa's friend doesn't want to know that Vanessa is Bernie's always-getting-into-fights-with-him niece. Guest appearance by Angela Bassett
495"Hair Jordan"Michael SpillerSaladin K. PattersonJanuary 4, 2004 (2004-01-04)08-03-312
Jordan goes to his favorite barbershop; Wanda, Bryana, and Vanessa fix their smoke detector. Guest appearances by Charles Robinson, Craig Robinson and Reynaldo Rey
506"Love Bug"Reginald HudlinKate AngeloJanuary 11, 2004 (2004-01-11)08-03-311
Vanessa brings home her boyfriend, Reggie (Arjay Smith) and Bernie tries to keep an eye out to see if they are having alone-time. 
517"It's a Wonderful Wife"Reginald HudlinTeri SchafferJanuary 25, 2004 (2004-01-25)08-03-306
Wanda quits her job, which interrupts Bernie's routine. Jordan's older friends are forcing him to have them meet Vanessa, but he doesn't want to. Guest appearance by Ellen DeGeneres
528"Family Reunion"Robert BerlingerTeri SchafferFebruary 8, 2004 (2004-02-08)08-03-310
Bernie hosts a family reunion and a family member makes Jordan a "cool cat". Another member woos Vanessa, and another one keeps trying to take Bernie's stuff. Guest appearances by Omarion, Glynn Turman, Anna Maria Horsford, Brain Posehn and Tommy Davidson
539"Droobie or Not Droobie"Michael SpillerJohn RiggiFebruary 15, 2004 (2004-02-15)08-03-308
Bryana's favorite character, Droobie, appears in a movie with Bernie as the enemy, and the next thing is, Bryana sees that Bernie is "killing" Droobie and she calls him a "Droobie Killer". David Faustino guest stars as Droobie. 
5410"J-O-R-D-A-N Spells Funny"Ken KwapisRoger ReitzelFebruary 22, 2004 (2004-02-22)08-03-315
Jordan enters a spelling contest, but he drops out and tries to be a comedian like Bernie. Bernie then gives him tips, but they backfire on himself. Vanessa makes a school project video called My Life With Bigfoot
5511"Make Room for Caddy"Victor Nelli, Jr.Saladin K. PattersonMarch 7, 2004 (2004-03-07)08-03-304
Wanda is forcing Bernie and her dad to get along with each other. 
5612"Saving Sgt. Tompkins"Ken WhittinghamJacqui ClayMarch 14, 2004 (2004-03-14)08-03-307
Bernie tells Jordan that his dad was in the war, and Vanessa finds out that Bernie lied. 
5713"It's Mac-ademic"Victor Nelli, Jr.Fred JohnsonMarch 21, 2004 (2004-03-21)08-03-314
Bernie talks to Bryana's teacher and wants her to be "Helper of the Week", Wanda is about tired of Jordan and Vanessa fighting, so she uses one of Bernie's "gator" belts to settle the fight. 
5814"The Getaway"Linda MendozaWarren HutchersonMarch 28, 2004 (2004-03-28)08-03-305
The family goes on a vacation and Bernie sneaks to Las Vegas to play poker with his pals. 
5915"Easy Rider"Linda MendozaNguyen OrangeApril 5, 2004 (2004-04-05)08-03-319
Bernie has an accident while riding an motorcycle, Jordan gets busted selling girl magazines at school. 
6016"Who's That Lady?"Ken WhittinghamWarren Hutcherson & Teri SchafferApril 12, 2004 (2004-04-12)08-03-322
Wanda feels left out when Bernie has a new female friend, Lynette (Mo'Nique). Meanwhile, The kids scramble for items that Bernie had hidden from them. 
6117"Mac-intations"Ken WhittinghamBrian EganApril 12, 2004 (2004-04-12)08-03-318
Bernie is constantly playing pranks on the family members, and the family gets payback on him. Guest appearances by Carl Reiner and Ashton Kutcher
6218"That Old Mac Magic"Robert BerlingerRichard AppelApril 26, 2004 (2004-04-26)08-03-320
Jordan enters show business, and Bernie tells him that it's kinda cruel. Guest appearances by Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Steven Gilborn and Phil LaMarr
6319"The Talk"Ken KwapisMarc Abrams & Michael BensonApril 26, 2004 (2004-04-26)08-03-317
Bernie talks to Jordan about girls. Guest appearance by Hugh Hefner
6420"Five Stages of Bryana"Michael SpillerJohn RiggiMay 15, 2004 (2004-05-15)08-03-316
Bryana acts like a 2-year-old to get the attention, but the next thing is, she's the monster of the household. Guest appearances by Simbi Khali, Alexis Fields and Chelsea Handler
6521"Go Bernie, It's Your Birthday"Reginald HudlinDenise DownerJune 22, 2004 (2004-06-22)08-03-321
Bernie's birthday is here and the family does not notice and Bernie begins getting jealous about an old lady shocking him with a stun gun, seeing a kid celebrate his birthday at Jungle Garden and getting locked out. Guest appearances by George Clinton, Daniella Monet and Jill Talley
6622"Thanksgiving"Reginald HudlinKate AngeloJune 29, 2004 (2004-06-29)08-03-302
Vanessa's teacher urges her to become a vegetarian, but Bernie's not sure on this. Guest appearances by Don Franklin and Tembi Locke

Season 4: 2004–2005

Series
#
Season
#
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProduction
code
671"Big Brother"Linda MendozaMarc Abrams, Peter B. Aronson &
Michael Benson
September 8, 2004 (2004-09-08)08-04-404
Bernie sneaks into Vanessa's journal and he finds out that she once smoked, which makes him buy security cameras to watch what the family's doing, but Bernie gets more than what he bargained for. Guest appearance by Snoop Dogg
682"Stiff Upper Lip"Warren HutchersonRichard Appel & Warren HutchersonSeptember 15, 2004 (2004-09-15)08-04-403
Bernie decides that 8-year-old Bryana is too old to be riding her bike with training wheels. She crashes, and a guilty Bernie volunteers to take her class to the museum. Jordan steals an old cast from the hospital and wears it at school to get out of gym class. 
693"Being Bernie Mac"Victor Nelli, Jr.Jacqui Clay & Jerry CollinsSeptember 22, 2004 (2004-09-22)08-04-401
Bernie is hoping for some peace and quiet as he prepares for a performance that night, but he must deal with the kids when Wanda's business meeting runs long. 
704"Mac Overdrive"Ken WhittinghamKate Angelo & John RiggiSeptember 29, 2004 (2004-09-29)08-04-402
Bernie gives Vanessa driving lessons, but he goes overboard while teaching Vanessa. Out of nowhere, he gets his truck towed away and he also gets glasses. 
715"My Privacy"Victor Nelli, Jr.Jerry ColinsJanuary 14, 2005 (2005-01-14)08-04-405
Bryana accidentally walks in on Bernie getting out of the bathtub. Vanessa is not happy when Bryana moves into her room. Bernie and Wanda decide that it may be time to remodel the house, much to the dismay of Bernie's wallet. 
726"Who Gives This Bride"Reginald HudlinTeri SchafferJanuary 14, 2005 (2005-01-14)08-04-406
Bernie's sister announces that she and her fiance, Monroe (Cedric Yarbrough) are eloping to Las Vegas. Wanda offers to have the wedding at the Mac house. 
737"Nerdy Mac"Linda MendozaRichard AppelJanuary 21, 2005 (2005-01-21)08-04-407
Bernie and Wanda are not satisfied with Bryana's test scores, and decide to enroll her at Jordan's school. Jordan is depressed because the kids at school think he's a nerd. 
748"Stone Nuts"Victor Nelli, Jr.Steve TompkinsJanuary 28, 2005 (2005-01-28)08-04-408
Jordan wants to be more popular in school, so Bernie teaches him to gamble, but the trick soon backfires. Wanda's birthday is coming up, and Bernie searches for a rare cognac-colored diamond. 
759"Jack & Jacqueline"Lee Shallat-ChemelAntonia F. March & Jacqueline McKinleyFebruary 4, 2005 (2005-02-04)08-04-409
Wanda decides to enroll the kids in an organization that teaches social skills to young people, with Vanessa instantly making new friends. 
7610"Manchild in Vanessa Land"David GrossmanFred JohnsonFebruary 11, 2005 (2005-02-11)08-04-410
Vanessa's new boyfriend is 18 years old, and has a child by a former girlfriend. 
7711"You Don't Know Squad"Victor Nelli, Jr.Antonia F. March & Jacqueline McKinleyFebruary 18, 2005 (2005-02-18)08-04-411
Bernie is happy that Vanessa has joined the Spirit Squad, until he sees the racey costumes and provacative routines. Jordan enlists Bryana and her friends to help him sell a product. 
7812"You Got Served"Linda MendozaBrian EganFebruary 25, 2005 (2005-02-25)08-04-412
Bryana's birthday party results in a lawsuit after she bounces high in the moon house and sending the girl flying. When Bernie hears about this, he tries to find a way to prevent the lawsuit from happening. 
7913"I Don't Wanna Be a Playa No More"Warren HutchersonTeri SchafferMarch 11, 2005 (2005-03-11)08-04-413
When Jordan develops a crush on a girl, Bernie teaches Jordan how to be a "player". Vanessa wants to attend a hip-hop concert. 
8014"The Big Picture"Ken WhittinghamSteve TompkinsMarch 18, 2005 (2005-03-18)08-04-414
Bernie hires a personal assistant. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Triple H becomes the victim of Jordan's prank phone calls. 
8115"The Music Mac"Reginald HudlinCourtney Kemp Agboh
Story by: Amanda K. Montgomery
April 1, 2005 (2005-04-01)08-04-415
Bernie wants to encourage Vanessa's burgeoning musical talent. Guest appearance by Isaac Hayes
8216"Walk Like a Man"Warren HutchersonCorey NickersonApril 8, 2005 (2005-04-08)08-04-416
Bernie feels that Jordan is ready to walk home from school by himself, but his walk home days are over after Jordan and his friends pick on a crabby neighbor. Vanessa has a wardrobe malfunction while swimming. 

Season 5: 2005–2007

Series
#
Season
#
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateProduction
code
831"Father Knows Best"Millicent SheltonTeri SchafferSeptember 23, 2005 (2005-09-23)08-05-502
Bryana's biological father, Bryan (Anthony Anderson) shows up and disrupts the little girl's routine. 
842"Wrestling With a Sticky Situation"Victor Nelli, Jr.Jerry CollinsSeptember 23, 2005 (2005-09-23)08-05-501
Jordan joins the wrestling team and Bernie seeks advice from wrestling champion "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. As punishment for taking her Aunt Wanda's clothes, Vanessa is put on laundry duty. 
853"Marathon Mac"Victor Nelli, Jr.Marc Abrams & Michael BensonSeptember 30, 2005 (2005-09-30)08-04-422
Bernie overtrains for a local marathon, luckily, Vanessa fills in for him. Later in the race, Bernie provokes Vanessa by calling her to see how she's doing. Guest appearances by Adam Carolla and Charles Barkley. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
864"The Big Payback"Victor Nelli, Jr.Antonia F. March & Jacqueline McKinleyOctober 7, 2005 (2005-10-07)08-05-503
Vanessa spends her money on shoes after Bernie specifically told her not to, which forces Bernie to have Vanessa work in his business. Guest appearance by Karen Malina White
875"Car Wars"Ken WhittinghamFred JohnsonOctober 21, 2005 (2005-10-21)08-05-505
Vanessa rents a car when Bernie said she can't have one. 
886"Night of Terror"Warren HutchersonCorey NickersonOctober 28, 2005 (2005-10-28)08-05-504
Jordan watches an R-rated movie while Wanda and Bernie go out for a night on the town, and the next thing is, he thinks zombies might attack the house. 
897"For Whom The Belt Tolls"Roger NygardSaladin K. PattersonNovember 4, 2005 (2005-11-04)08-05-506
Bernie and Wanda are about tired of telling the kids to stop doing things they are not supposed to do, so Bernie teaches Wanda how to use Big Mama's belt. 
908"Pop Pop Goes The Weasel"Millicent SheltonTeri Schaffer & Steve TompkinsNovember 11, 2005 (2005-11-11)08-05-507
A possum breaks out in the house scaring Bernie. 
919"Prison Break"Keith TruesdellAntonia F. March & Jacqueline McKinleyNovember 18, 2005 (2005-11-18)08-05-508
Bernie gets a call from the catholic school due to Jordan and Bryana's bad behavior (Jordan was dared to touch a girl's behind, but ended up touching a nun's behind. Bryana forged Bernie's signature on her homework assignment because she made a D). Bernie then puts them on severe punishment. This eventually angered Wanda, who attempts to take the children off of punishment. Vanessa is the last one to be punished. (Vanessa hosted a pool party when she was supposed to be studying). The trio eventually get locked in Bernie's basement. Guest appearance by Mablean Ephriam 
9210"Some Church Bull"Lee Shallat-ChemelJerry CollinsDecember 2, 2005 (2005-12-02)08-04-417
The family goes to a church retreat and at the end, everyone comes home mad. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
9311"Sorely Missed"Reginald HudlinWarren HutchersonDecember 16, 2005 (2005-12-16)08-04-418
Wanda and Bernie need time alone and Bryana doesn't remember her mother. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
9412"Fumes of Detente"Lee Shallat-ChemelFred JohnsonJanuary 6, 2006 (2006-01-06)08-04-419
Vanessa's old friend from Chicago visits. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
9513"Exercise in Fertility (Part 1)"Linda MendozaMarc Abrams & Michael BensonJanuary 13, 2006 (2006-01-13)08-04-420
Wanda says she's about to be pregnant and Bernie springs into action, and the kids seem concerned. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
9614"Exercise in Fertility (Part 2)"Ken WhittinghamMarc Abrams, Peter B. Aronson &
Michael Benson
January 20, 2006 (2006-01-20)08-04-420
Bernie and Wanda go to a fertility specialist. The kids are worried that a new addition to the family will leave them out in the cold. (This episode was originally produced for season 4.) 
9715"Fantasy Football"Rusty CundieffBrian Egan & Steve TompkinsJanuary 27, 2006 (2006-01-27)08-05-509
Bernie and Jordan join a fantasy football league, But their frequent disagreements effect their relationship. Meanwhile, Brianna becomes addicted to wearing makeup, and she gets caught wearing makeup at school. Guest appearances by Dick Butkus and Pat Finn
9816"Bar Mitzvah Crashers"Linda MendozaMichael Caine & Angela YarbroughFebruary 3, 2006 (2006-02-03)08-05-512
Bryana listens into Vanessa and Wanda's conversations, and at Jordan's friend's party, she opens her big mouth. 
9917"Who's Your Mama?"Linda MendozaJerry CollinsMarch 31, 2006 (2006-03-31)08-05-514
Bryan fills in for Wanda while she's on a business trip. 
10018"What Would Jason Do?"Roger NygardSaladin K. Patterson
Story by: Jason M. Palmer
March 31, 2006 (2006-03-31)08-05-510
Two boys are trying to take Vanessa to a senior prom, and while out on a date, Bernie and Wanda spy on them. 
10119"Never As Bad As The First Time"Keith TruesdellFred JohnsonApril 7, 2006 (2006-04-07)08-05-513
Jordan dates a cheerleader which wows Bernie, but when the breakup happens, Bernie has something to say. Guest appearance by Jon Garland
10220"Spinning Wheels"Victor Nelli, Jr.Corey NickersonApril 7, 2006 (2006-04-07)08-05-511
Wanda's sister, Valerie (Shar Jackson) comes for a visit and throws a roller party for her. 
10321"Growing Pains"Lee Shallat-ChemelWarren Hutcherson & Saladin K. PattersonApril 14, 2007 (2007-04-14)08-05-515
Vanessa decides to work extra shifts instead of studying for her SATs
10422"Bernie's Angels"Ken KwapisTeri Schaffer & Steve TompkinsApril 14, 2007 (2007-04-14)08-05-516
In the series finale, after having a near-death experience involving the microwave, Bernie decides to turn his life around and starts being nicer and overly sensitive. Meanwhile, Jordan begins to take advantage of Bernie's new attitude. Vanessa is still working on finding a good college but she doesn't want Bernie's help. Bryana has to learn what belongs in a microwave and what doesnt since she was the one responsible for Bernie's near-death experience. In the end, Bernie discovers that Jordan has been using him and he reconciles with Vanessa. In the final scene, Bernie takes back the iPod he bought for Jordan and delivers a farewell message to "America". 

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